tvN’s Valid Love episode 14 – Il Ri really annoyed me in this episode

After the last episode, I’m nervous that Valid Love will turn into a show where the husband has to prove his love for his wife, even though she’s the one who cheated. I think the show established that Hee Tae and Il Ri had issues that they needed to work on before she cheated and I’m fine and more than happy to see them work out these issues. What I’m worried about, is if the show white washes the cheated by making it all Hee Tae’s fault. I don’t think that’s fair to him and I don’t think that’s fair to the show that the writers have made.

I really hope it doesn’t go this route.

….speak of which, it’s super late here but instead of going to sleep, I decided to watch the next episode. *sigh*

5-Line Recap:

1. The neighbour was jealous of Il Ri and Hee Tae, so when he found out there was a crack in their relationship he exploited it so they could be miserable like him.

valid love1

Then, instead of staying there and owning up to his mistakes he plans on moving and finding the next couple he can mess with. Okay, maybe that part isn’t true, but he does want to move away and it only happened after the mess with Hee Tae and Il Ri came out. I don’t know about you, but this seems pretty cowardly of him. I mean, it’s one thing to be jealous of someone else’s happiness when your world has fallen apart, but it’s another to actively try to ruin it. All because of jealousy?

I don’t know how I feel about that. He was hardly on the show in the first place and now that he’s moving, he just seemed like an extra character that was used to push the story forward instead of feeling like a real person. I wonder if we’ll ever see him again.

I suppose I should talk about Hee Tae and Il Ri. The reason why she didn’t want to come back home with him was because she feels like nothing would change. Hee Tae would still feel angry and disappointed with her and remember what she did. He says that he’ll forgive her, no, that he forgives her but that isn’t enough because of the hurt that she feels. Since he doesn’t understand it, she won’t go home with him.

You probably can’t see (hopefully you can’t as that would be creepy) but I’m shaking my head at this scene. Hee Tae is meant to change so that he can understand her pain and become a better man because of it, but not once did Il Ri understand what she put him through. She did say that she would try to find out the reason why, but that’s not really anything to go by.

The couple’s problem was that they don’t communicate, but that’s a two way street. Why are we only seeing it from Il Ri’s side?

2. Il Ri gets locked in at her work place, but thankfully Kim Joon is there to save the day with his trusty hammer.

And the hammer makes it’s long awaited appearance. Kim Joon flirts with her, but Hee Tae’s phone call stops anything from going further. So he asks her what she liked about her husband. She doesn’t give him an answer and after some words gets up to leave. She doesn’t want to discuss things about her husband or about what Kim Joon said in the last episode about taking responsibility for her. So he gets up too and calls her a coward.

valid love2

After that conversation, Il Ri has to talk to Hee Tae who is waiting for her outside of her home. He brings up the baby issue and asks her why she never discussed it with him. She said that this was what she wanted, but he doesn’t understand why she never talked to him about it when they even went to the doctor to get checked. Instead of talking about this, she changes the subject and says, “Is that all you can say?”

I’m shaking my head here again, because Il Ri is being incredibly self centered. I understand that she’s hurt, but if you don’t explain yourself no one will know. People are not mind readers and even if you are married to someone that doesn’t mean they know how you feel. I’ve lived with my siblings for all of my life and I don’t even know what they think sometimes.
Nothing in life can move forward if you choose to remain closed and she’s consistently remained closed and acted like the victim when she isn’t. No one here is a victim.

3. Hee Tae grabs Il Ri’s arm, but she refuses to go with him so Kim Joon has to come save the day again.

I think this proves to us that Il Ri doesn’t do things unless she wants to. Whenever she was dragged around by Kim Joon it was because she wanted to. When Hee Tae took her to the bedroom and she followed, it was because she wanted. That makes her complicit in the affair with Kim Joon and the bedroom hijinks with her husband.

Wow, it’s crazy how an episode can really change your views on a character. I didn’t mind Il Ri before, but the first half of this episode really made me dislike her. Hee Tae wants to talk and I get that she’s hurt and angry because he didn’t let her say her piece, but she cheated on him. That sort of shock would make anyone unreasonable. Now that he’s calmed down, this is the perfect time to sit down like adults and talk.

She refuses to do that and when Kim Joon shows up; she makes Hee Tae talk in front of him. So he tells her that if she wants to do what she wants, then he gives her his blessing to be with Kim Joon but all he wants is for her to come back home with him. This isn’t what she wants to hear, so she invites Kim Joon over and leaves Hee Tae out in the cold.

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Just like how she refused to discuss Kim Joon’s feelings, she refuses to talk to Hee Tae here and the show is making her look like the victim and I don’t like it. Not one bit. She’s being a coward in both situations. Not only a coward, but she wants both men to do what she wants without her following proper relationship protocol of give and take.

4. Il Ri and Kim Joon have some fun, even though she has a flashback to a happier marriage time, while Hee Tae pretty much ends things with Sun Joo before anything actually happened.

Poor Sun Joo. She shows up to be the other woman for Hee Tae and only gets her heart broken before they ever started a relationship. It’s annoying, because she gets to move on and Hee Tae becomes a stalker and pushes Sun Joo away.

5. Hee Tae’s mother has dementia.

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It’s not Alzheimer’s, but due to aging and poor blood circulation.

Preview: No preview again this week. 😦

I’m not sure what happened with this episode, but I didn’t like it at all. Il Ri has finally decided to move forward, but it’s like she takes one step forward and two steps back. She’s still running away from her problems and from important discussions. This is consistent with her character, but wow did it get annoying in this episode.

I don’t understand what is happening with the characters. Il Ri is running backwards and not forwards when it comes to her relationships, but she’s the saviour of Hee Tae’s family. No one can function or be healthy if she’s not around. Kim Joon is regulated to being a love sick puppy who is also Il Ri’s knight in shinning armour. He understands her the best and is willing to always be with her. Hee Tae officially entered the, “They cheated on me, but I love them and want them back” phase of his grief and now blames himself for the failure of his marriage. Hee Soo has diarrhea, and now Hee Tae’s mom has dementia.

….I dunno. This episode didn’t really do anything for me. I kind of found myself more annoyed than anything else. My worries that Hee Tae will face most of the blame and be the one who has to win back Il Ri seems to be materializing. For a show that I really enjoyed because of the realistic portrayal of cheating, I’m really worried that I’ll end up disappointed because of things like this.

Oh well…till next week.


8 thoughts on “tvN’s Valid Love episode 14 – Il Ri really annoyed me in this episode

  1. missjb

    “I’m shaking my head here again, because Il Ri is being incredibly self centered. I understand that she’s hurt, but if you don’t explain yourself no one will know. People are not mind readers and even if you are married to someone that doesn’t mean they know how you feel. ”
    It’s proving The writers not only blaming It’s All Tae Hee’s fault for an affair to happen. Because she didn’t realise she need to talk.. I understand her, Because I my self is like that. there is several moment Until someone said it to me, you’ll never realised your mistake. The cheating is part of her mistakes, Its her choice. But I Blame Tae Hee for makes this mess after discovery getting worse.

    I don’t know if it’s intentional, But without realising it, the writers apparently makes Joon Il RI’s reationship getting stronger.. Even if they are not dating, they need each other, at least as a best friend

    1. mochirochi Post author

      I think that’s the problem with the show though. We’re meant to see Il Ri and Hee Tae’s relationship as the perfect thing that others were jealous of, but we never actually saw their relationship. We’ve only seen them fight, while Il Ri and Kim Joon get closer. Because of that, people are turned off from the married couple and want the affair to fully bloom into a a proper relationship instead.

      I don’t think Hee Tae is completely at fault. If I found out my spouse was cheating on me and fell in love with someone else, then I’d be super angry. For Il Ri to give up so easily shows how little she cared for this relationship, because while she expects Hee Tae to understand her feelings and her pain she never full grasped what she did to him. Sadly, that’s consistent with her character, but it’s still pretty bad to watch.

      After this episode, I don’t know what she wants. She’s forcing herself to be with Kim Joon, but it looks like her feelings for him are not really there. She wants Hee Tae to be with her again, but she’s unwilling to have an adult conversation with him now that he’s calmed down. To me, it looks like she’s a coward and very selfish.

      1. missjb

        Yess.. She is a coward and selfish, And the show acknowledge that (as KJ stated). She is honest to tell her husband in detail how much he liked KJ, Without concerning his feeling after he discovered. She can tell him honestly, but not that extent. That’s why HT is hurting at her words. If there is I have learn to this drama, is a bad truth, a bad honest people… Who actually honest in order that her mistakes will be forgiven. He didn’t want a sweet lie, but at least trying to watch her words, trying to understand him.

        And after she start to understand his husband feeling, Il Ri also act selfish with KJ, use him as a device to reconcile with her husband. Tell in front of KJ that her feeling for him is only temporary, that it will be forgotten to his husband, without concerning his feeling.

        I find it funny some people feel annoyed with KJ’s behaviour in episode 13 when he force them three of them met, to his benefit, when Il RI did exactly the same with KJ in episode 11.

        That’s why I don’t find the writers side to anyone…. Though the writers herself admit she pitied HT.

        1. mochirochi Post author

          I agree that I don’t think the writers are LM anyone’s side, but I still think that Il Ri is being portrayed as the victim here because of HT’s lack of understanding. That’s why I’m worried that he’ll be the one who will have to win back her favour when it should be the other way around.

          1. missjb

            She has already tried, She fight back to save their marriage… She tried to push KJ away. Even using KJ’s presence to reconcile with her husband. She did everything, But admit it, HT’s behaviour is really too much when he discovered the truth. He is unconditionally hurting his woman who has been devoted to him for 7 years. NO, I don’t want it. I know IR is the wrong, but HT act out of line, though understable. He hurt her not only phisically also emotionally. She cheated him emotionally, but the way he acted as if she has already doing anything more than that makes her deserves a painful punishment.

  2. Pingback: VALID LOVE. TVN. | IKurate

  3. Boon Ang

    Contrary to missjb’s comment about IR trying very hard to save her marriage, I think otherwise. Let’s premise that IR always does what she wants and isn’t a pushover – she reminded KJ of it in episode 17. Accepting this premise, if IR really wanted to end her relations with KJ in episode 11, she would not have responded to KJ’s call after he tailed her home and she had already gone upstairs. But no, she came down again when KJ called. If IR wanted a clean break with KJ, she wouldn’t have told KJ where she was nor would she have asked HT and KJ to leave to strike – she would have asked KJ to leave. When MK was caught photographing KJ & IR, why did IR rush to KJ’s to report? She even went supermarket with KJ and she seemed to be enjoying herself. She even volunteered to cook curry for KJ. In episode 15, IR even enjoyed herself sledding, eating, and sleeping with KJ. HT also saw IR and KJ holding hands, smelling hair, playing, and laughing at Castadiva? All of this before her divorce was confirmed. Up until this point of the narrative, I am not convinced that IR tried very hard to save her marriage. This truth is borne out in episode 19 when IR broke up with KJ – IR always does what she wants to do and until she wants it, she’s just kidding us!

  4. Boon Ang

    A funny thought just appeared to me. Remember the morning after HT discovered IR’s affair?
    He wanted to make sense of why she did it. Was he earning too little/ Did he snore? And etc. He then asked IR if she had to pay KJ. She was silent and angry. But come to think of it, she paid him in “lip service”. First, she allowed him to kiss her 2 times plus one try. Second, when KJ rescued IR from the locked washroom he demand “lip service” from IR – she had to say he excited her like crazy. IR countered that her oral apology sufficed by citing a popular Korean idiom. Throughout their affair IR paid “lip service” apologies many times. Finally, when KJ ended the affair first by accusing IR of play ing him and having fun at his expense. She paid for his efforts to bring her this far by “lip service” again.
    I was wondering why her affair was so chaste despite the sexual tension – they only kissed three times, hugged, held each other, and held hands about a dozen times. Do you recall that IR checked out what Castadiva meant and searched it out on the net. Castadive means the “chaste goddess” from Bellini’s opera Norma. She was a Druid priestess who had an affair and borne children with the enemy Roman Consul. She delayed the Druids’ attack on the Romans by telling her compatriots that it was not the divinely appointed time yet. After reading this, she commented Makjang but she enjoyed listening to the opera. I offer this as a reason why she may have wanted to be a “chaste goddess” which may explain why she did not sleep with KJ. It wasn’t because she was not tempted – she asked KJ about his virginity on their outing. Notice how brazen she was? They barely met a fortnight ago then.
    Anyway, it seems like from episode 14 onwards she was willing to enter into a dating relationship with KJ, even though still awaiting confirmation of her divorce. She no longer wore her wedding ring now; Her wedding picture hanging on her bedroom wall at mum’s flat was replaced with a woodwork (I wonder if it’s from KJ) with “chocolate” engraved on it, She supermarketed with KJ, cooked curry with and for him, and had a good time together. Interestingly, IR did feel warm and “hot” as she did when she shared a reconciliation meal with HT. KJ’s palms were still “hot” till the end in episode 20. But it seems like maybe IR’s palms may have cooled a bit? No sweat KJ, they’ll hold hands sleeping in the next episode.


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